Felicity Kendal Unpacks Raw Grief: ‘It Takes Over Every Aspect of Your Life’ Three Years After Partner’s Death
Felicity Kendal, the beloved star of The Good Life, has bravely opened up about her profound three-year journey through grief following the passing of her partner, theatre director Michael Rudman.
Rudman, who was 84, died in April 2023 after a period of significant health challenges, including a heart attack, bypass surgery, a bout with Covid, and a broken back. His final two years were spent with full-time carers at home.
Instead of succumbing to sadness, Kendal, now 79, is determined to cherish the “wonderful times” and avoid wasting precious moments, emphasizing that “life is so precious.”
| Star | Felicity Kendal |
| Partner | Michael Rudman |
| Rudman’s Passing | April 2023 (aged 84) |
| Grief Duration | Three Years |
| Key Insight | Focus on “wonderful times” |
The Unseen Battle of Grief
Kendal credits her robust support network as “very important” in navigating this difficult period. Speaking to Prima Magazine, she revealed that the overwhelming intensity has shifted over time.
“I mean it has been three years now, so it’s moved from being really all-consuming.”
She candidly described how grief permeates every aspect of existence, even when hidden from public view. “Even though you try not to show it, it sort of takes over every aspect of your life – missing that person that was part of your everyday,” she explained. “So the everyday changes.”
Rebuilding a New Self
The first year post-loss was marked by profound self-reflection for Kendal. She found herself questioning, “What do I put in place because I’m not the same person any more?”
This period of questioning led to a powerful realization. “You think, ‘I’m of less value because I’ve only got half of me’ and then you realise you have a chance now at another life and you have to have a different routine.”
Cherishing Memories, Not Sadness
Kendal drew parallels to the loss of her sister, recalling the thought that helped her then: “she’s not here, so I better not waste this.” She finds herself applying this same philosophy to Rudman’s passing.
“I think that’s what I’m now feeling. And it’s just about remembering the wonderful times rather than the sad times and that does happen. It’s a three-year journey.”
The couple’s history was a journey in itself; they married in 1983, divorced in 1991, and reunited eight years later after Kendal’s relationship with playwright Tom Stoppard. Though they never remarried, they lived together until Rudman’s death and share a 39-year-old son, Jacob.
Challenging the Language of Loss
In 2023, Kendal confessed to The Times that she “cried a lot” after Rudman’s death, an uncharacteristic display for her. She likened grief to a boomerang, hitting unexpectedly.
“When someone dies, it’s like a boomerang. The emotion is gone, out of sight, then whack – it hits you again. Unexpected things get me. Often, it is just people being nice or someone else dying. I am at an age when an awful lot of people are dying.”
She also expressed her disdain for the phrase “lost her husband.” “It’s as if you have lost the cat. I haven’t lost Michael; he is dead. We are all at one point or another going to have to deal with similar things, so let’s be open about it.”
What to Read Next
For more insights into coping with loss, explore interviews with other celebrities who have shared their grief journeys. You might also enjoy revisiting Felicity Kendal’s iconic performances in The Good Life, available on various streaming platforms, to appreciate her enduring talent.
